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Bao-yu's close friend Bao-chai is an example of what Lacan calls the Other. When a man looks at a woman with desire, he calculates how much he is ready to give her up to satisfy her need. If she values the man's love above everything else, she will turn down his offer. Bao-chai's beauty attracts every single man in the novel and she is constantly left out of everything Bao-yu is doing. She is driven to cry outside his house as she doesn't understand why he doesn't love her.
The mother of the protagonists is Jia Baoyu's mother and the father of his cousin Bao-chai. She is the Great Mother. She kills her husband with a spear and becomes the subject's maternal Other. Lacan posits that desires are generated by the phallic mother, which is why she is called the mother of desire. Enjoying the chance to meet and play with toys, the dreamer's mother was also a subject's maternal Other. Playing, therefore, is a way of negotiating the relation between oneself and the Other. In the dream, the mother plays with the dreamer by teaching him Chinese characters and then breaking his heart by leaving him. The mother's symbolic function is to destroy the child's desire for her. Bao-yu is actually crushed to pieces by his passion for his teacher.
Bao-yu has not been able to establish himself as the patriarch of his family because he has never been able to do so. He lacks the maternal Other who would play with him and melt him to pieces. His mother, Jia Cheng-tzu, blames Bao-yu for the death of her husband with a spear. Meanwhile, his cousin Bao-chai is so much in love with him that she is given the nickname Shizhe. She is jealous and acts like an unstable object in the dream. She has tantrums. She is more beautiful than Bao-yu and she wins the favor of all the men in their family. She is so strong and will not need to worry about getting old. Bao-chai also learns how to write Chinese calligraphy. She is worldly and sophisticated. Bao-chai's manners are all elegant. d2c66b5586